Robert and I are currently working less than 1 mile apart. This won’t last for long… only through Thursday. So, I got the brave idea that we should carpool to work together! We got up this morning… I made sure that he got up early enough to leave with me. If I just let him be, well then.. he probably wouldn’t stroll into work until 9. Ok, he corrects me… 8:30. I’ll compromise… 8:45. So, we head on out… I even had to grab my gloves… awfully cold here in Houston
Good thing we took Rob’s car.. he has seat heaters!! Being the kind gentleman that he is, the first thing he does when he plops down in the car is turn mine one for me. He’s my sweetie. We continue on our merry way… and I soon discover, man I could fall asleep like this. Heater blowing, butt warm, feet toasty, and just all bundled up w/o a care in the world on the passenger side. I feel quite certain Robert does not feel this way, but I personally am having a hard time not falling asleep. He drops me at 8:03 and heads to work himself.
He texts me and says be ready at 5. Little does he know I usually work until 5:45 or 6. But, I told him if he would come at 5:15 I would be ready. He showed up at 5:08. I made him wait until 5:15. Then, we head home. Traffic is bad.. we sit at these lights for hours… we ask each other how our day was… talk about the weather… talk about our upcoming vacation… talk about the traffic… talk about which way we should cut around the traffic… sit in the traffic some more… and then we get on the highway. We are finally moving at the decent pace of 55 mph and I realize I have this sudden urge to fall asleep again. I could TOTALLY GET USED TO THIS! This carpool thing rocks my socks off. I even have to yell at Rob to exit b/c he’s so relaxed himself. Hehe. We don’t usually see other until about 6-6:30 when we each get home, so it was nice to have someone to talk to. Of course, we had dispensed w/ what we had to say each other and it was silence by the time we got to I-10.
We get off the highway and head towards the apartment. We each talk about what lanes we like to drive in and we each have our particular way of winding down the street. We get close to the light we turn at, and I ask Rob: what are we having for dinner? Rob says he’ll probably just have a Lean Cuisine. I say I’ll just have bowl of cereal. (See Dinner for Two post for further clarification). I see Escalante’s up on the corner and ask Rob, want to go to Escalante’s? Rob says, “I don’t know.” I say, “well then.. it’s up to you. I’m down for it.” He pulls in, they seat us right away. We dive into the chips & salsa.
NOTE: I’m justifying all this because A) I stayed under budget while Christmas shopping, and B) we just carpooled and saved whole day’s worth of driving on one car.
We continue scarfing down the chips & salsa. We don’t really speak.. b/c well we’ve already talked about our day. We sit in silence. Chomp, chomp, chomp. Food comes. Munch, munch, munch. Pay bill. Leave. Come home. Finally.. we have something to say… because our apartment STINKS. It was quite horrible actually. I immediately lit my Home for the Holidays Yankee candle. We change our clothes, Rob re-washes the pot that was sitting in the sink. I put on the pajama pants and the house-shoes. I turn on the TV. Look at the time: it’s 6:45!!!!!!!! You’re kidding me!
I know, this whole time you thought we had sat in traffic for hours… but no, only about 30 minutes. Dinner only took about 45. People have to love serving us, we can get in and out in 30 mins flat if we wanted to. We stretch it to 45 mins or an hour. We even leave a nice tip. Easiest money anyone ever made.
Anyways, I ask Robert if he can buy stamps at work. I have all the Christmas cards that need to be mailed and didn’t have enough stamps. Sorry guys.. some of you are getting a Adopt a Pet stamp and the others Christmas stamps. Rob says no. I think secretly he can.. but he doesn’t want to be embarrassed. Then, Rob gets this great idea to go to Target and he can buy my Christmas present (the Eclipse DVD) and I can buy stamps. I immediately said BUTTT ROB, I already have my pajamas anyways. He said in a quick voice “Nope, can’t go to bed at 7 pm, so we’re going.” I put my real pants and shoes on as I can see that I cannot win.
We head out.. I get this awesome idea to kick up the volume to Usher’s OMG song. We used to be huge fan’s of Usher back when were in high school, so I purchased the song not that long ago. Picture us.. two very young looking, white people busting out w/ Usher… Oh My Gosh. This gets us to Target. I’ve only repeated the song twice. I also speak in plural’s here, but I guess I should probably speak in terms of one person b/c kid yourself not: Rob does not sing or ‘bust out any moves.’ We pull into Target where Robert bypasses the closest parking spots, almost hits two people and their cart, and drives past a very scary person.
Side note: Both Wal-Mart and Target are on Westheimer where I would not really recommend going after dark. Especially if you are woman, alone. By this point, Robert has turned down my Usher as “he can’t even hear himself think” and I make him drive back around the parking a lot b/c it feels a bit safer on that side of Target. We go in, they do not sell stamps.. I TRIED TO TELL HIM THIS BEFORE WE LEFT, but sometimes when Robert is on a mission… he is on a mission. Or probably like any man… there was no stopping him. I look at the check-out lines, they are so long and I immediately want to turn out of the store and head back home. He, of course, heads to the back of the store where he finds my DVD. But, he can’t pay for it because he left his wallet at work. So, not only am I attending the purchase of my present… but I am also paying for it. Yes, I know we have a joint checking account so its ‘our money’, but really… that’s just not the point of it.
By now, I’m starting to lose my cool. I don’t really know why, other than I JUST PURCHASED MY OWN CHRISTMAS PRESENT. But, Rob is on a mission and now it’s on to Wal-Mart. This is where I start to get my groove back. Rob almost misses the turn into Wal-Mart and I’m like TURN!!! He’s like “Well, why is the sign way up there for?” I immediately burst out w/ “SILENCE!!! I KEEL YOU.” If you haven’t heard this phrase, you need to You Tube Jeff Dunham and Achmed. It’s “Ach (phlegm) med.” You really got to get your throat into it. Imagine, deep & throaty “SILENCE, I KEEL YOU.” Well, that was me. The first time. Rob bursts out laughing, b/c let’s face it… I don’t have a deep & throaty voice. But, Rob does an excellent imitation. It’s hilarious. So, he responds “Silence. I keel you.” That’s us going into Wal-Mart. We pick up the stamps and head back home. I almost want to tell the Cashier "SILENCE. I KEEL YOU." But I contain myself.
No more Usher and OMG. On to SILENCE!! I KEEL YOU!! Each trying to best the other. For those of you who know me… I can do a pretty hilarious British accent… So, now it’s a deep & throaty, British “I KEEL YOU!!!” Rob can’t compete w/ that one. Nope. I rule.
So, now… we are back. Replaced the jeans w/ pajama pants and my house-shoes. Watching the recorded Sing-Off. It’s kind of amazing. These people harmonize all together (I don’t even know what that means), but there are no instruments and they make up all the background noise and sing these old songs. For instance, a group of black men are currently singing Backstreet Boy’s “I Want It That Away.” It’s quite impressive. Seriously. Check it out. Anyways... Rob is Googling (why doesn’t spell check recognize Googling??-- they should know it’s a verb by now) the meteor shower and we’ll go to bed soon. 9:30 EVERY NIGHT! J
SILENCE! I KEEL YOU!!!
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