I almost decided not to write a blog about this, but this is a blog about Robert and I's life.. the good, the bad, the ugly... so I decided I go ahead and put it out there as to not alter "real life."
As many of you may or may not know, I resigned my position with my first employer out of college. I'm on day three of my new job with a new company. I had worked at my previous company for three solid years as an auditor. They taught me many things and I had a great three years with them. This blog in no even will bash my previous employer or anything of that sort. It should be known that to this day I remain loyal, but my wants and needs have since changed over the past three years.
You all know me... I'm a pretty upbeat person and always try my best at everything I do. I don't do anything if I know I can't give it 100%. I'm also definitely respond to positive feedback. Some people prefer the physical touch, receiving gifts, acts of kindness, and quality time. I am 100% words of affirmation. (You may wonder where I pull these things from and its from Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages. If you aren't sure what your love language is, I highly recommending taking the quiz and reading the book. You can find more information here: The Five Love Languages.)
What does that mean I respond to Words of Affirmation?? Well, I'll take it directly from Mr. Chapman himself... "unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten." You can apply that to family and business relationships. That's just me. Robert tends more towards the Physical Touch love language (i.e., he wants to hold hands, etc.)
Anyways, so yes... Words of Affirmation is most definitely me. So, why you may ask did I choose a career as an auditor? Those two most definitely do not go hand-in-hand. And you are right... they don't. Granted, my co-workers definitely made up for that and I always received positive feedback when I needed it most. But just taking the job itself as an auditor... people hate auditors. Or if they don't hate them, they most definitely don't want to make their life easier.
As an auditor, the best thing I can do for you is to say "we didn't find anything wrong." That's it. The client is paying us to find errors so that the financial statements are "materially correct." Sure, we issue this other letter where we list suggestions to internal controls and possible effects of future accounting standards.. but in essence, we're there to say.. "yeah, you did it right." And 9 times out of 10... we find something wrong. Not always something huge or anything, but just something that you have to bring up or make an adjustment.
Have I said I also hate confrontation? Well, if not... I most definitely do. Hhmm... the question of why I became an auditor is becoming more unclear now. Have you ever tried to tell someone that we found a material error in their books and we're going to have to adjust your net income down for this. This will also be a material weakness listed in your management letter. You dont need to know what all that gobble de-goop means that I just said, other than you know that's not going to be an easy conversation to tell someone they did somthing wrong & that person is paying you to tell them that!
It's a rough job. Put aside all the hours and hardwork, its just at the end of the day its hard for clients to see the added value. I don't blame them. Auditors are a necessary evil. We will always need them and they do serve an important function in ensuring that the financials you are looking at are materially correct and management isn't pulling "one over you."
I think I should also say that I had really great clients for the most part. A lot of people get it. But then, there are a lot of people that don't, too. And absolutely nobody tries to make your job as easy as possible. But, if they did.. we'd be out of their hair even faster! You know everyone you work with at the client isn't going to be overly-friendly and will try to forget you when you leave. It's hard to work with that knowledge that people you are working for don't necessarily like you. Completely goes against the "Words of Affirmation" language.
That being said, the stress of the job and the lack of feeling appreciated had just really beaten me down. When I say lack of feeling appreciated.. I mean by the 'type of job we do'... not 'my co-workers didn't appreciate me.' I do not want it to be ever said that I didn't like working for my previous company.. because I did. I just didn't like "being an auditor." I need to feel like I'm adding value and don't want to feel so sick to my stomach about presenting adjustments and control deficiencies to the CFO & Controller or having some ream at you for no good reason other than "you're making their life a little more difficult."
So, those feelings left me with hard decisions to make. Do I stick it out... do I leave? When you work with some great people and bosses, its a really tough decision. I can assure you most people voted for me to stick it out. But, ultimately, I had to do what was best for me and Robert and our future. I didn't like where I was headed, the person I was becoming.. so something had to change. I know some people won't agree with it and don't understand it... but deep down I know its what I want. This was most definitely the hardest decision I have made in a very long time. Robert can attest to the tears and discussions we've had. (yeah, he didn't cry.. that was all me.)
That's where I am. I'm moving on to what is a new adventure for an international real estate firm in their SEC Reporting department. Now, the auditors will get to come to me. Right now, when I see them in the audit room.. I kind of want to run in there do a little twirl and say.. "oh yeah, that used to be me, but now its definitely not." But, I haven't... yet.
So here's to new journeys and hard decisions.
P.S. The first three days have been great.
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